The children cry not only because of egocentric reasons but also because they can sympathize with others' suffering. Until adolescence, physical pain is very important as a trigger of tears, but for adults and the elderly, it no longer plays a significant role. However, feelings of loss and powerlessness seem to remain important for crying throughout the lifespan.
Why adults cry?
Probably the most common elicitors of crying are a feeling of powerlessness or helplessness, often in combination with other emotions such as sadness, anger, fear or disappointment. Usually, there is a blend of emotions that stimulate our tears. The emotion trigger could also be classified into two cases which are 'positive' emotions and 'negative' emotions.
In the case of positive emotions, the tears probably associated with joy, gratitude or elation. Thus, tears may actually reflect feelings that cannot be expressed in other behaviors.
Table 1 summarized the basic and most important antecedents of crying. (Vingerhoets)
Regarding personality features, individuals high on neuroticism and/or empathy cry relatively more, whereas dismissively attached persons tend to cry less than others.
Besides scientifically establishing individual and group differences in crying frequency, it is also relevant to understand why these differences exist.
Bekker and Vingerhoets developed a model to illustrate that each of the following four factors might be responsible for individual and group differences in crying.
- Degree of exposure to
emotional situations
For example, the differences in crying frequency between men and women could perhaps be explained to a large extent by the fact that women more often watch tearjerkers and more likely read “sentimental” literature. This difference in exposure to emotional stimuli may also extend to one’s professional work setting, as currently more women than men are working in health care, whereas men are
still overrepresented in more technical and less social professions. Additionally, women may more easily cry because they are more vulnerable to interpersonal traumas and emotional disturbances (including depression).
- Way to
perceive emotions
For example, women probably tend to appraise certain situations(e.g., burglary, computer crash, etc.) as more helpless than men do.
- The
existence of crying threshold
This factor is presumably influenced by physical and psychological factors such as fatigue, sleep deprivation, but also hormonal levels. It is assumed that this threshold differs for men and women, because of the difference in the levels of the male sex hormone testosterone, which might explain why men have a higher threshold.
- The capacity to control one's tears
This concerns the influence of parents, but in particular also of peers, and other societal pressures. Both gender and cultural differences in how crying is perceived may result from these influences.
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